A Weekly Detail: A Big White Elephant

....that's pretty much all there is to say

Thank You to the Mystery Who

An envelope
Wasn't there yesterday
No Stamp, no return address
Just a name, printed, for who it's for
Inside is some cash
one sentence encouraging continued learning
No name

Whoever it was
Thank you
Kindness in it's fullest

...And We're Back

Yes yes, everyone's been asking what the heck happened to the blog
I know I know, you all must have been panicking

short story shorter:
email got hacked, everything stopped.

but no worries now!
So celebrate by voting on the poll to the right!

The Things You Find...

The interesting fact is this:
Somewhere out there
Somebody actually would put in enough effort to do this...

A Weekly Detail: Passing by a Friend

The Three Weeks

You don’t realize that you miss home

Not when you’re busy 14 hours a day

Not when you’re having adventures

Not when you’re meeting tons of people

Nor when making plays

Or writing songs…

…but when home is 3 weeks away…

You gotta say…

My lovely little community in Arizona,

Allya that live around our little shul,

You really oughta know,

I

Miss

All of you

Oh and you wonderful folks up in NY!

That Tishrei thing worked out,

So I’ll be seein’ you for Succos

Save me a seat will ya?

The Advantage of Babies

It’s one of those random memories that hit you for some reason.

In this case it was the sight of a baby

Menucha

Little menuuuchaaaa as we all would say

It was back in the days of NY, when a few guys went to Brattleboro VT for Shavuos and our teacher, his wife, and baby came along.

The Rabbi and Mrs. went for a Shavuos walk and I looked after the baby

For pretty much the whole day

Here are some the perks:

Traffic

Everybody stops when you want to cross the street and you’re pushing around a baby. It makes you feel powerful.

Smiles

Feeling lonely, having a bad day etc? Nothing gets more ‘aw’s ‘oo’s and ‘oh how adorable/cute’s than a young guy taking a baby girl all around downtown.

The baby

Because she keeps trying to crawl to the chair, and I just grab her leg and pull her back, resulting in endless crawling, which for some reason is quite entertaining for both baby and me.

Other babies

Because walking down the street and passing by someone, I know mine is cuter than that hers.

That Dumb Alarm

1:32AM

Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing!

Whewhewhewhewhewhewhewhew

That stupid alarm has gone off. Probably nothing. They did, after all, fix it recently or something…

…Then again…

There could actually be a fire, in which case it should be checked out.

Nah.

Way too tired. Someone else will do it…

…Then again…

Everyone is probably thinking the same thing, in which case it should be checked out.

Nah.

Someone will start screaming. Then we’ll know for sure…

…Then again…

That’s not a real indication. The boys might run around and yell regardless, in which case it should be checked out.

Nah

Too tired. I’ll see fire or smell smoke or something.

…Then again…

I wouldn’t have time to save my stuff then. That’s money I don’t have, in which case it should be checked out….

Mmm. hmm…

oh look it turned off anyway

zzzzzzzz

Now what the heck is the point of that alarm?

That Night I Got Lost

Ah yes

That’s another thing

That night I got lost

The young American man was zooming down St Kilda road so fast that if anything popped in front of him it would mean disaster. He must have been going somewhere between 30 to 40k an hour.

At any moment the bike could very well just fly apart

It was the first time he was taking the bike out for a test. The school year was still young and he planned to buy a bike off one of the outgoing bochurim for a hundred bucks or less. However, walking down the street he discovered a crappy old bicycle amongst a bunch of other bulky garbage in front of someone’s house. Practically a free bike! The young man took it, changed the tires, and made it his own.

Only problem was the bike threatened to kill him

None-the-less he brashly decided to pump his way up that hill and go as fast as he could all the way down, actually keeping up with traffic along the way. He continued biking until it was time to turn around and head back. It was getting late.

Getting back would be simple

Just follow the road just the way you came

He did just that. Except the other side was a bit different. It seemed to drop into a highway, so he took the side street instead. Except that side street turned to the left, but he was able to exit onto a normal road. Simple enough. Now he was facing west. He simply had to continue west and the then make a right turn to once again be heading south. Going south he’d inevitably hit Carlisle St.

West, south, west, south

Simple as that and he’d be back

But

That’s what he thought

The side streets screwed him up

He was really going south, east, south, east

And he was biking really fast

Sometime later, really far away…

…ghost town

…no cars

…no people

No phone

No idea where he is.

He only needs to know one thing

Where

is

north

once he knows that he can find the ocean

and follow it up to Carlisle

Talk about the most depressing situation ever. Poor guy just wants to lie down in his bed and he’s been biking since a quarter till ten. Passing by brightly lit car dealerships and carwashes, and they’re playing depressing ‘lonely guy music’ you know like “…on this eeeemptyyy rooooad…” or some such and there aint a soul in sight…

…finally there’s a man in a car at an intersection. Ugh, thank G-d. The young man rides over and dismounts. After all this time there’s someone that can at least point to where St Kilda is. The young man walks over and waves to the driver to roll down his window. The driver looks at him with a startled look.

He drives away!

That &$#*$!$

&#^$&

#^#%$

The young man just stands there in the middle of the road watching that car speed away. It seemed the epitome of just how bad it could get. He’s so despairing, so angry, that he throws his helmet.

Then he has to run down the hill and get it…

…Riding aimlessly for who the heck knows how long who the heck knows where… he spots a truck in some site where they’re doing road work. Inside is some guy! Huzzah! He asks the man in the truck where St Kilda is.

“You wanna get to Melbourne [he simple says Melbourne, not St Kilda as in, that’s how far away I am]. Oh, you’re mile away from Melbourne mate. Miles away.”

The young man didn’t care. He wanted to get back. It turned out that north was completely not where he thought it was and he was riding away from the beach.

He rode and rode and rode….

…and he got back at flipping two o’clock in the morning.

Jogging St Kilda

Back jogging again

St Kilda beach ‘n’ back

It’s been ages

Jogging in East St Kilda

It comes with a few awkward moments,

Shady areas,

And weird scenes (and people).

But at least you’re running past all that

Like that one time, running back to yeshiva in the morning, and there’s some guy…

…just lying on the side of the road….

…Is he…dead?

Nah. But give him a couple little kicks for good measure.

“Sir. You ok?”

He wakes up, doesn’t look like he knows what the heck happened…but he doesn’t look very surprised either.

“Hmf, yea mate, I’m good. I gotta, I gotta get the tram. See ya mate.”

It wasn’t even like he was a hobo…

…he just walked off, like it was a normal day. And I jogged off, like it was a normal day.

Cuz this is East St Kilda…

Ooo, there was also that night I got lost…

Tuesday August 10

“Do you know what this Tuesday is?”

Rosh Chodesh duh

“Nope”

Hm, a birthday?

“Think. August 10^th”

August 10^th, now why have I heard that date?

The day YG was founded?

I’m finally informed of what these boys are giddy about

Of Tuesday

Of August 10^th

Oh, that’s right

You guys are the biggest dumbest losers

You know what August 10^th means to me?

Competition

For Shobbos tables.

They get in the way.

And they already are

Trekking Taz: Epilogue

Continued from

Day 4; Heading Home

“Well it’s something I can tell my kids I did once”

Freezing cold

No one has seen us

The young American man waited for the vehicle to leave. He didn’t want to risk its driver noticing movement and then sending people over to ask a bunch of questions, and then what? It was the third time the truck drove out onto the runway. It must have been some sort of sweeper-truck, but the young man couldn’t tell despite the full moon. Thank G-d for that. Earlier there were clouds coming in. Rain clouds, and that would have been terrible. The young man whispered a little payer and the clouds departed in no time. But it was another thing that worried him. The full moon meant more light. However the young man had checked. They really were somewhat invisible on the side of the hill. Still, he wouldn’t risk it and waited for the truck to disappear before he emerged from underneath his sleeping back to adjust his blanket.

The truck was gone and he quickly sat up to shift things around before it came back. Now that he was no longer under the covers the cold, cold air quickly seeped into his clothes. It was so cold that the smallest breeze was acutely felt on his face. Now his whole body was again cold and not just his feet. It was no problem though. He’d warm right back up, but his feet, oh, they just wouldn’t! They were so cold and there seemed to be no fixing it! He could hardly feel them!

He whirled around. He could have sworn he heard someone. There was no one. The control tower was directly ahead, but that had shut down hours ago. The lights on the runway continued to blink in sequence though it was completely useless. All else was dead aside for that truck.

Vrrrmmmm

The young man flipped the covers over himself to hide

He wasn’t even sure he’d get in trouble

Or if they’d even care

It really wasn’t worth risking it

Mm! So cold!

How did he get in this situation?

………………

Twelve hours earlier

They had just arrived at the bus station. They davened Mincha and left their bags safely in the station office. It was time to go out and get some nosh. They had a lot of time to kill. Their flight wasn’t until 7:00 AM. It’d be twelve hours of munching on candy, reading and sleeping.

They made their way down the Hobart street and around the corner until they came to a Woolsworth’s. There they got themselves some chips, strawberry liquorices, coke, and bananas.

“I told you a bottle a coke would be the first thing I’d get when we got here.”

They crossed the carpark and sat on a ledge overlooking an alley type thing. They munched on bananas and chips and were lovin’ it.

They were on their way back when the young man spotted a magazine/newspaper store. “Hold up guys, this is exactly what I’ve been looking for. The key to spending twelve hours.” They crossed the street and entered the store. The young man found a shelf with discount books and bought a WWII novel that seemed interesting and certainly large enough to keep him occupied the entire night.

………………

Nine hours fifteen minutes earlier

“We’re closin’ up now. He’ll come around and pick you up across the street.” It was annoying. Ideally the station shouldn’t have closed for another quarter hour, and they were watching M*A*S*H*, but it wouldn’t make sense since there were no buses coming anyway. Inconvenient it was, but the end of the world it wasn’t. It just meant they’d have to wait outside for half an hour for their ride to show up.

They gathered up their things and migrated across the road. The young man settled under a street light and continued learning the maamer he brought along. He chuckled. Here he was, on the side of some random road in some overlooked island, closer to Antarctica than he ever thought he’d be, learning a maamer in the cold using a street light to read.

“Seriously, who could have seen this a year ago?”

The van arrived. On time. Actually it arrived on time to the minute. Very impressive for Australian standards. They hopped in and drove off to the airport. They chatted w/ the driver, told him their flight was in the morning, but they had reading material and nosh to pass the time. They arrived at the airport shortly where they shuffled their things to get the weight just right. The young man propped himself up against the bags and opened up his book.

………………

Seven hours earlier

“He said the place closes in an hour.” The young man looked at him blankly, processing the information, questioning the possibility of it being a real fact. “An hour.” He said back. An hour. Indeed, it was rumored that the airport closed, but no one in all of Tasmania had said a word about it! It was why they came to the airport! Surely, either the woman at the station, the bus driver, the guy at the bookstore, the man who drove them to the airport, the gal at the counter of the coffee shop, would have notified them of that little fact if it were true! It couldn’t be!

It could be

The young man immediately began to scheme through their options. There weren’t many. He gazed into his cup of coffee in thought, turning the cup around in his hand. It felt warm. It reminded him that outside, it wasn’t warm.

Still, it seemed to preposterous. This sort of thing happens to other people. It couldn’t really happen to him! He walked over to the girl at the coffee counter. She was in the middle of wiping everything off. “Excuse me,” he said, “is it true that the airport actually closes?” “Yep, right after the last flight comes in.” she replied. Realizing the predicament the young man was in, she went to get information on the nearby hotel.

$99 a night

The three travelers convened. They had already spent enough money. A hundred more dollars was not what they wanted. The young man suddenly, perhaps it was a genuine realization, perhaps it was simple acceptance of the circumstances, but he gave a very simple suggestion.

Boy that is crazy

Not much of a choice

One night

Not many can say they did that

Heck, I’ll do it

The young man went into the bathroom with his bag. He took out his jacket, thermals, gloves, beanie, and put them all on. He exited, all suited up and ready.

They strapped on their packs, grabbed the huge black bag w/ their stuff, and set out into the night, toward the black hill, where few would be able to see them. They laid down on the hill beneath the control tower, overlooking the runway. The young man rolled over on his stomach wearing his pack for warmth, folded his arms against his chest, crossed his legs, and conserved his own body heat quite comfortably.

And so they would spend the night

………………

Five hours earlier

The control tower shut down.

The young man is feeling cold

He breaks out another jacket for his legs

………………

Four hours earlier

Now it’s freezing

The young man took out his sleeping bag

All is warm, except his feet

………………

The present

Sleeping on the side of a hill

In the middle of Tasmania

Next to an airport runway

Hiding from authority under a sleeping bag…

…Now that is something to tell the kids one day

More of that Silent Dialogue

That silent dialogue again

Whenever the young man needs something

G-d gets him what he needs…

…if he’s a good boy.

“G-d, I’d really like to be in 770 for Rosh Hashona.

But I need money for the ticket.

If you want me to go, then help me out.”

Says the young man to G-d…

…7 days later…

A wedding!

The young man goes and dances,

He wears his Shobbos coat. The other one’s dirty

And there’s wine

And dancing,

And more wine

And more dancing

And more wine…

You see, you just don’t feel it when you’re dancing

At all

But when you sit down…

Oooohhh boy.

…just finished dancing, sit down, five minutes later things are getting fuzzy, very fuzzy….ice cream…friends sitting around…talking about chess…here’s a L”chaim, a formidable amount of mashka, “L”chaim”…bentching, tea or something,

Blip

*poof*

……..in bed, it’s morning.

?

You have literally teleported through time and space.

Wooaaaa

Up-and-at-‘em for davening

Breakfast, learning, a normal Thursday

Friday

Learning.

Off to the city for mivtzoim

But the weekday jacket is dirty

Wear the Shobbos one instead.

Everything’s the same as always.

…The whole day goes by…

…Right before Shobbos

Gotta empty your pockets!

A pen

Some paper

A pencil in my coat pocket

Hm, it’s stuck to some paper or something

!!!

Two hundred dollars!

Who gave me this!?

…

Thanks G-d! I knew you would.

Weddings!

It’s that time of the year again

The weather’s getting warmer

The days are getting longer

And couples are starting to get married…

Something gets put up on the bulletin board

All crowd around to see

An invitation

To a wedding

And it’s tonight!

Oh boy!

It’s been s so long since the last wedding!

Everybody forgot how much they loved weddings.

In fact nobody had even thought about it for months.

Needless to say,

Everyone is that much more excited

The day goes by.

Transportation is arranged.

Throughout the day you can feel it in the air,

A chassana!

Finally!

Seder’s over!

Everyone shuffles outside

Hop in your ride and you’re off!

We’re here!

Oo, big, fancy hall

Food, drinks, and dancing!

And everyone you know is here!

All the good folks of Melbourne!

Glide around, shake hands, meet a couple new faces,

And dance!

None of us even know the chosson,

And hopefully no one knows the kallah

But we all dance anyway,

Because it’s a wedding!

Post script: never ever, when drinking wine in excess, take mashka as well. The results are chaotic.