In light of the last post be sure to watch and vote!
Click the link below
Monday, January 30, 2012
Sunday, January 29, 2012
A Jewish Music Vid in Just a Few Easy Steps!
After a friend's recent submition to Jewish Star I've discovered for myself the empirical formula for all modernized Jewish music videos in existence.
==============
1. Artist. Usually walking at first then singing, often playing a guitar at this point.
2. Random scenes of buildings, the sky, the sidewalk, cars, the sidewalk again, the sky again, back to artist either in front of bricks or on a bench.
3. Introduce random Bad-Day-Guy; a random guy walking with a sad face. Hands in pockets
4. Artist again
5. Back to Bad-Day-Guy, still walking
6. Repeat step 2
7. Bad-Day-Guy either walks into store, a subway, toward a bus, toward a friend, or toward a door
8. Bad-Day-Guy either cannot pay for or breaks an item in store and owner does something very dramatic with hands, has no funds for his subway ride to no real destination, misses bus, ditched by friend, or finds door locked.
9. Begin filming artist in random locations of no particular note
10. Bad-Day-Guy walking as before. Repeat steps 7, 8, and 9 untill all variations complete.
11. Bad-day-guys sits on bench or on ground next to brick wall looking really, really sad. Viewer begins to wonder if Bad-Day-Guy will cut wrists over minor inconveniences.
12. Step 9
13. Often Bad-Day-Guy meets Random-Rabbi-Guy at this point, if not things suddenly begin to get exponentialy better for no visible reason anyway.
14. All events in step 8 magically undone.
15. Bad-Day-Guy looks happy. Did not cut wrists. Bad-Day-Guy and artist seen walking to eachother and meeting up. Viewer wonders how they wind up knowing eachother. Artist must be wizard who foresaw and saved Bad-Day-Guy through magic soul-song.
16. they walk away together. Blur out. Song ends.
==============
1. Artist. Usually walking at first then singing, often playing a guitar at this point.
2. Random scenes of buildings, the sky, the sidewalk, cars, the sidewalk again, the sky again, back to artist either in front of bricks or on a bench.
3. Introduce random Bad-Day-Guy; a random guy walking with a sad face. Hands in pockets
4. Artist again
5. Back to Bad-Day-Guy, still walking
6. Repeat step 2
7. Bad-Day-Guy either walks into store, a subway, toward a bus, toward a friend, or toward a door
8. Bad-Day-Guy either cannot pay for or breaks an item in store and owner does something very dramatic with hands, has no funds for his subway ride to no real destination, misses bus, ditched by friend, or finds door locked.
9. Begin filming artist in random locations of no particular note
10. Bad-Day-Guy walking as before. Repeat steps 7, 8, and 9 untill all variations complete.
11. Bad-day-guys sits on bench or on ground next to brick wall looking really, really sad. Viewer begins to wonder if Bad-Day-Guy will cut wrists over minor inconveniences.
12. Step 9
13. Often Bad-Day-Guy meets Random-Rabbi-Guy at this point, if not things suddenly begin to get exponentialy better for no visible reason anyway.
14. All events in step 8 magically undone.
15. Bad-Day-Guy looks happy. Did not cut wrists. Bad-Day-Guy and artist seen walking to eachother and meeting up. Viewer wonders how they wind up knowing eachother. Artist must be wizard who foresaw and saved Bad-Day-Guy through magic soul-song.
16. they walk away together. Blur out. Song ends.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
The Old Age Home Experience
Being mashgiach at the old age home has perks
namely
The little muslim girl running around the dining room with the full on garb, hiizaab and all, serving (how did she get a job here?) And making sure that "the Rabbi eat. Why the Rabbi don't eat? Here I bring food. Eat Rabbi".....I must consider if this is poisoned
Going to the Rabbi's house for shobbos where not a word of english is spoken
Constantly listening to the dishwasher complain about his job, how he hates life, and yell at all the workers
Trying to convince a man that today isn't Yom Kippur
Smiling and nodding while old ladies speak to me because they will never seem to understand that I don't speak yiddish
Singing "vesamei mucho" with that other lady since we both only know the first two words to the song
The man who always goes "eehhheeeehhaaahhhehhhhhhhhhhehhhehh!" He lives next door to my room. He wakes up at 6AM
Wondering why I have to lock a cabinet that has nothing but coffee
Watching all the residents rush (so to speak) into the room for lunch which always makes me think of a group of slow cattipilars chasing after something.
The old lady who comes by my desk every lunch, says something in yiddish, and proceeds to slap me (in a soft old lady way) in the face. Tucking in my shirt hasn't helped.
Listening to the old people argue
Listening to the staff argue
Listening to the staff complain specificaly to me about why they were arguing with the other person
Listening to the waitress fill me in on who's dating who amongst the residents and wishing I never knew.
Having the non-jewish staff correct me on where the correct utensils are supposed to go
The irony of hearing christmas music playing in a Jewish old age home
Finding magazines and books in my new room which were left behind. Then, while lying in bed, it hits me to wonder who DIED right here.
Trying to find said Muslim girl late at night to get master key and having here freak out when I find her in the hallway because she's eating alone and uncovered her hair and then I freak out too because I don't recognize her at first, just some girl really baffled to see me, then realizing who it is, but still being all baffled since it simply seems to be the theme of the moment, and her franticaly scrambling for her hiizaab and me going back into the elevator and then remembering that I never got the master key from her.
shifty eyes
Bochur walks into the room
"Manis Friedman says 1 in 3 people
Have been molested"
"That's funny because there's four in this room"
"There are"
...everyone looks left.
Looks right.
Shifty eyes.
"Manis Friedman says 1 in 3 people
Have been molested"
"That's funny because there's four in this room"
"There are"
...everyone looks left.
Looks right.
Shifty eyes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)