"Sir, You're too Fat to Fly"

“They’re already doing it in France.”

And other communist countries

I was at a Shobbos meal

Someone there mentioned how airlines should charge extra

for overweight people

I told him it was nonsense

The weight of a person is negligible

Unless of course there’s a sumo-wrestler convention

Hope they don’t all sit on one side

What a funny idea

I disagreed with its practicality

And argued with him

And away my imagination went…

Think of all the implications!

Complementary treadmills by ticketing

But it’ll eventually cost five dollars for 20 minutes

What happens if you book online?

Do you put in your weight then?

Or is it more like baggage fee at the gate?

Does international cost more?

What if a really skinny guy buys the ticket w/ you?

Can you get like a group-weight rate?

Do you pay less per kilo for bigger planes?

And more per kilo for smaller planes?

What if you have no baggage?

Then can you check your personal ‘baggage’ free of charge?

What if you’re just over?

Can you take off your clothes and get weighed again?

Restaurants could serve airline-prep specials!

(Garden salad with a fillet of salmon)

You would people pumping iron at the gym

“I gotta pay for this flight to Seattle!”

Businesses would only send the skinny executives on business trips

Say goodbye to lunch break

I could start my own airline!

Jumbo Jetting

Nobody too big!

Sure it’ll cost more to fly

But I’d have more customers

Complementary in-flight burger included