Now that we’ve found the real threat to the environment it’s time to think of some solutions based on our global warming champions:
Movement tax
Movement tax trade
Tax on vibrating phones
A cap on how much industries can move things around
More taxes on other random things
But how do we get the public to accept this very real threat?
Simple!
Lots of commercials with polar bears, elephants, dead trees, and discoloured scenes of industries, complete with kids w/ funny accents from third world countries narrating. They can talk about how
“Our movement is causing Antarctica to move toward the equator causing it to melt and then the polar bears will have no place to live.
[scenes of polar bears and cute penguins]
and then the oceans will rise and the we will drown
[scenes of African kids looking very very sad, but they’re sad about the environment not being helped, not because we could be raising money for food or something]
You don’t hate kids, do you?
You don’t hate polar bears, do you?
Then join the fight against Global Continent Change
So donate to the GCCF
And vote for the tax on movement
That is
Unless you hate children”
There’s no way people could say no to that
After all, continent change has to be out fault.
Those right wing naysayers are just capitalist, selfish, piggish child murderers.
Who hate polar bears
Duh
So there we have it
The more money we raise
The better off the world is
Trust us
...but there is only so much we can do...
Eventually we will have to thin out the population
At this rate we will simply have no choice!
So I propose a tax on babies
And eventually a cap on babies
It’s for our future hello
The public won’t mind if we get them crazy enough about GCC
And then eventually we can collect the entire smaller population into one movement-controlled area where we can all live in utopian peace
So long as everyone listens to what they’re told.
It’s for our own good remember
Spread the word about GCC
It’s our fault, it has to be
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