The Old Age Home Experience

Being mashgiach at the old age home has perks

namely

The nice lady in a white hat (who's name I don't know other than being The-Nice-Old-Lady-in-a-White-Hat) who is never ceasing with her blessing, "to find the girl of your dreams" and showing me photos of what hotties she and her husband were back in 1942.

The little muslim girl running around the dining room with the full on garb, hiizaab and all, serving (how did she get a job here?) And making sure that "the Rabbi eat. Why the Rabbi don't eat? Here I bring food. Eat Rabbi".....I must consider if this is poisoned

Going to the Rabbi's house for shobbos where not a word of english is spoken

Constantly listening to the dishwasher complain about his job, how he hates life, and yell at all the workers

Trying to convince a man that today isn't Yom Kippur

Smiling and nodding while old ladies speak to me because they will never seem to understand that I don't speak yiddish

Singing "vesamei mucho" with that other lady since we both only know the first two words to the song

The man who always goes "eehhheeeehhaaahhhehhhhhhhhhhehhhehh!" He lives next door to my room. He wakes up at 6AM

Wondering why I have to lock a cabinet that has nothing but coffee

Watching all the residents rush (so to speak) into the room for lunch which always makes me think of a group of slow cattipilars chasing after something.

The old lady who comes by my desk every lunch, says something in yiddish, and proceeds to slap me (in a soft old lady way) in the face. Tucking in my shirt hasn't helped.

Listening to the old people argue

Listening to the staff argue

Listening to the staff complain specificaly to me about why they were arguing with the other person

Listening to the waitress fill me in on who's dating who amongst the residents and wishing I never knew.

Having the non-jewish staff correct me on where the correct utensils are supposed to go

The irony of hearing christmas music playing in a Jewish old age home

Finding magazines and books in my new room which were left behind. Then, while lying in bed, it hits me to wonder who DIED right here.

Trying to find said Muslim girl late at night to get master key and having here freak out when I find her in the hallway because she's eating alone and uncovered her hair and then I freak out too because I don't recognize her at first, just some girl really baffled to see me, then realizing who it is, but still being all baffled since it simply seems to be the theme of the moment, and her franticaly scrambling for her hiizaab and me going back into the elevator and then remembering that I never got the master key from her.