The Unconventional Bochur

B”H

An unconventional bochur. It’s what I coin myself to be. I’ve heard others call it a rebellious bochur, non-conformist, or bluntly, “Why can’t you just do things like a normal bochur?” Why not you ask? Because an unconventional bochur still a proper bochur. It’s just doesn’t fit the exact expectations of the system.

There’s nothing wrong with the “normal” bochur just as there is nothing wrong with the unconventional one. An unconventional bochur learns, davens, maybe even goes on mivtzoim, just like a “normal” bochur. But the difference is why, how, and their attitude about it.

A “normal” bochur does what he does because, well, it’s what you’re supposed to do, and therefore he doesn’t dare add any innovation to the system. An unconventional bochur looks at how it works, says it’s nice, participates, but doesn’t allow the system to put its limitations on him. That’s the difference; Accepting the limitations.

An unconventional bochur during yeshiva, might run an Ebay business, get himself odd jobs here and there for extra cash, educates himself with things that interest him, and, here’s the big sin, decide to go to university. And he still does everything a “normal” bochur does. Yet such an attitude is shunned because, “bochurim don’t do that.” They don’t? Why not? The answer is simple. They’re supposed to be like an assembly line. Everyone does that same thing everyone else does and has been doing since forever because if they don’t they’ll lose their status in that big system. You go to mesivta and don’t worry with anything else. You go to Zal and the same thing. You become a Rabbi because that’s what’s done. You get married and apply to go on shlichus. And high school diplomas are discouraged.

The unconventional bochur looks at this and says, “That’s good for you. I may do something similar, maybe almost the same. But along the way I have my own life.” The common system is synonymous with limitation, and the unconventional bochur loathes limitation. Strict adherence to the way things are don’t appeal if there’s opportunity. The unconventional bochur sees opportunities within the yeshiva system and beyond. And he takes them because he can and he wants to. Opportunity.

Hopefully the first of many blogs, this is about beating the system. Being the good Lubavitcher bochur but not letting that stop you from doing what you want to do. Whether it be college or the military or whatever. What everyone else does is fine, but the system doesn’t dictate life. It’s all about whether you accept the limitations placed by those in its hierarchy or you take, and make, your opportunities and dreams. These are the rants and raves, musings and thoughts, of that creed.