It Sucks to Kill Bin Laden

Osama is dead

The name of the one who shot him is secret.

Be nice and smile to everyone

Because you never know

They just might be the one who killed Bin Laden

I’m the dude who killed Osama Bin Laden

I can’t tell anyone

But I did it

Now I’m getting pulled over

I killed Bin Laden, double tap, right above the left eye

Biggest terrorist of the century, I shot him

I’m the dude who killed Bin Laden...

“...and uh, officer, my wife’s brother is a cop too”

I killed Osama Bin Laden

And I just got a speeding ticket

I killed Osama Bin Laden

I made Obama’s term

He owes me, he loves me...

...But he aint gonna find me a place to park the freaking car

I killed Osama Bin Laden...

...And this guy just cut me off and gave me the finger

I killed Osama Bin Laden...

...And airport security is giving me sass

I killed Osama Bin Laden

Toughest guy of the decade...

...and I’m stuck in the friggin middle seat on the plane

Between two fat guys

I killed Osama Bin Laden...

...and I’m ten cents short for this coffee

I killed Osama Bin Laden...

...and the lady on the phone just put me on hold

For ten minutes

“Geez lady I’ve had it!

Do you know who I am?!

I’m the dude who shot Bin Laden!!!”

“You’re going to have to be patient sir

I’ll transfer you to billings”

&$%#!

I’m the guy who killed Bin Laden, avenged my entire country, put down the most dangerous and evil man in the world, came in, guns blazing, took him out, became the greatest hero in America...

...and the line for the register in Target has been taking forever

I killed Bin Laden...

...This sucks