Chapter Five, Part Two

The young American man and his friend came through the back gate of the yeshiva for the first time. Their very first greeting was from a loud portly man who simply said in a heavy accent “ah, now we have more Beheimas!!”

They had no idea who this man could be

The young man and his friend went straight to the office to notify them of their arrival and get their room keys. The one in charge of the office greeted them and asked, “How did you know how to get in?”

“We Google Earthed the place”

It was true. They looked at satellite images of the whole Melbourne, found out exactly who all the staff were, got a map drawn up of the immediate area w/ any significant places they should know (i.e the bank, and pizza), and they knew the schedule. The only thing they didn’t know was which shiur they’d be placed in. Aleph was the highest. Daled, the lowest.

Then let’s shoot for Aleph then…eventually

The young man and his friend davened Mincha w/ the yeshiva. They stood next to the wall, surveying the other students who were already in yeshiva for almost a week. Who was chassidishe looking, who was wearing tennis-shoes, who looked new and who looked like the already knew the place.

They knew nobody

There wasn’t a soul in Melbourne the young man and his friend were familiar w/. They came with two numbers to two families related to someone they knew from their time in NY. That was it. The young man shifted apprehensively.

Dang this is different

As soon as Mincha ended the young man and his friend left with their handy dandy map. They needed to pick up Gemaras and open up a bank account. They walked and walked. There was nothing.

The map was drawn backwards!

They turned around and headed the right direction this time. They were in absolute raptures. Everything was so different! They were on the other side of the world! Everything, the plants, the light, the people, the accents, the cars, the roads, everything was making them as giddy as little girls. It was super exciting. Who would have ever thought they’d wind up all the way here?

They took care of their things and decided to find the nearest joint with a slurpy. They asked the first Jewish kid they found. Melmart. It’s what the kid said. They looked and looked in the area where this ‘Melmart’ was supposed to be to no avail

Ugh!

Mealmart!

These ozzy accents

They returned from their brief excursion in time to be ferheirted by the very R Cohen they heard so much about. The young man walked into the cold office. R Cohen was just the way he imagined which made him a bit nervous. This was it. This would decide which shiur he’d be in.

The young man sucked

The young American man shut his Gemara. He didn’t know the standards but he was certain he’d be placed in the lowest shiur. He did swell on the Mishna because he had done it before, but he absolutely bombed everything else. “You seem to need some work.” The rosh slowly pointed out. “I know,” the young man replied feeling a bit of desperation. He knew he was behind but he at least wanted to start off in Gimmel, “But I will pick it up. I can work hard and I’m not all that behind. I guarantee you, before I leave, I’ll be in shiur Aleph.” After the Rabbis lengthy response the young man breathed a sigh of relief.

He and his friend were put in shiur Gimmel

The next morning the young man and his friend were right on time for seder. They assumed a nice little spot by the wall, away from the commotion of the main part of zal. It was incredible. “Look at us man. We’re real bochurim!” They were supposed to learn with a shliach, but they hadn’t arrived yet. They opened up their Gemaras and couldn’t go more than three words into the Tosfos. “Wow we suck.” Laughed the young man’s friend. “Yea it’s gonna be an interesting year,” the young man replied, smiling as he placed his metal coffee cup on the table,

“but it’ll be great, the place has endless coffee!”

….fast forward….

It was raining.

Typical. Last year it was sunny when they arrived. All well. The young man stepped out of the taxi asking the driver to wait while he ran inside to borrow some cash. It was the last dollar he had. The young man was arriving a week late and most of the bochurim were in zal. He found one of his friends in the lunch room and got $20. He paid the taxi and dropped his luggage off in his room.

Everything was exactly as he left it

The young man looked at the calendar to see how much more time left until he would finally make it to shiur Aleph. He was so close at the end of last year, but he was told that he needed one more zman to perfect his pronunciation of the words. That made him feel a bit sour. Why couldn’t he have been told that earlier? Still, it was just one more zman. The young man said he was going to get there, he was going to get there.

The young man walked into zal greeted by the annoying

Tsssss tssss

tssss tssss t

tssss tssss tssss tssss

tssss tssss tssss

tssss tssss tssss

noises that all the bochurim make. Handshakes and hugs, it felt good to be back. He went to the office. A letter from the bank and a letter from the state. Ugh. That tram fine. He opened it and found a letter stating that his request for an extension was granted. He wasn’t going to jail. Yes!

He did the happy dance around his room.

The young man plopped down on his bed next to his bags. This year is going to be great he thought. He thought back on all the misadventures of last. He knew this year would have even more. He knew what was up, he could jump right in. He loved it. He had found so much and there was so much more to find. He looked in his bag and his face lit up

Oh no way, yes!

Vanilla pudding mix!

It’s gonna be a great year…