Soggy Succas, and Other Succot Things

The first night

The young American man of our stories drank the strong dry wine from the becher, no, the barrel that was given to him for Kiddush. No sooner than when they washed and ate bread,

Crrrrrraaack

Rrrrrrbbrlll

Pfffffffffffffffffffffff

Rain poured upon them in horrendous torrents. They went inside for ten minutes to wait for it to die down, but eventually the men braved the wicked weather to eat their soup in the soggy succa. The young man found that one spot that was dry and huddled their to eat though a sneaky dribble would occasionally fall on his plate.

He looked around at the other men and the other wet men looked at him. They all burst out laughing.

Now this is succos!

And with the women inside,

let’s go get the beers!

Succa hopping

Having finished their wet fun-filled meal the young man and his friend went to find, well, a friend. They walked across Crown Heights to a large apartment complex and lo-and-behold,

A whole succa village!

Big ones and small ones.

short ones and tall ones.

Succas w/ stripes and succas w/ spots!

Well not really spots ‘n’ stripes, but they’re sure were a lots!

The young man left and gazed down from above on the field. All those succas with soft light peeking through the schach and various nigunim to be heard from so many! All those humble little huts, they looked like a picture from National Geographic.

The young man returned to the village and thought he’d find his friend.

Oops sorry, wrong succa

No no! come in, say your name, and say L’chaim!

8 or 9 succas later…

…the young man forgot who he was looking for.

Hoshanos

So many people in 770 each w/ a Lulav. It looks like a crusade of green swords. All kinds of lulavs. Bushy ones and skinny ones, long ones and short ones.

You know what they say about guys w/ short lulavs

Well I actually don’t know what they say

With all these Jews trying to circle the bima, what is the trick to safely making it around?

1. Shove yourself to the center of the circle. Less people are going in and out.

2. Ready? C’C’C’Catch the wave! Just stand there. You’ll get around.

Bircas Kohanim

There’s a million Kohanim

And there’s always that one who’s just a bit louder and slower than the rest

It must look pretty cool from the women’s section

With everyone spreading out their taleisim to cover everyone around them, it becomes like a big huge tallis party!

Heeeeyy!

Anybody bring the chips?

O come on seriously?

Who just let one rip?

Simchas Beis Hashoeva

Don’t assume it’s like normal events that at least start to die down at 1:30

Otherwise you’ll find yourself out ‘till 5:30

The nightly schedule is as follows:

1. Maariv
2. Fabrengen
3. dancing
4. more dancing!
5. hot dogs
6. dancing (but w/ Ausie flags!)
7. coffee
8. can’t have coffee, still fleishig from hotdogs
9. shacharis at 770
10. (cold) coffee

Also, the rule for which succas you can randomly pop into and fabreng is:

Any

Avoid succas full of Israelis. They will grab you by the shirt, pull you inside and dance w/ you. They won’t let you leave. They will only speak Hebrew to you. They will make you say l”chaims and continue speaking in Hebrew. And when you leave you will reek of cigarettes.