“Ugh. It is way too early in the morning to bee seein’ bare bottoms…and I don’t think I’ll be up for it later either.”
“Never ever again describe the mikva as ‘bumper to bumper’. It doesn’t really sound right.”
“Well hello. Last time I saw you, you were wearing clothes.”
“Hello again. Last I saw you, you were stark naked.”
“Introduce me later. It’s just my thing. I prefer to meet new people while wearing pants. It’s sort of a first impression issue.”
“Could ya hurry up? I gotta run to mikva before it fills up with kilograms of booty. You know how I feel about that.”
“Yea, but, see, my spatial requirements increase exponentially when naked. So I need you to kinda move. Especially since you kinda are too.”
“Don’t forget your pants!”
“Um, like, where is my underwear. Now I’ve done it all. I’ve lost my underwear.”
“I’m not too good with numbers when I’m like this. It’s sorta like; no pants. No numbers.”
“Good mornin’. You know mikva is the only time I ever see you. That’s kinda awkward, considering the circumstances.”
“We used to call this guy ‘the mikva monster’ back in CrownHeights. It wasn’t really nice, but, I mean the guy was so fat.”
“This just aint workin’ out k. There’s gotta be a sign up that says ‘Maximum booty capacity’. Oh and the limit has to be in kilograms and not individual booties…Well because it’s more sensible that way, I mean, some take up more space than others and that is just not fair. Hmm, maybe the limit could be based on both, you know, like it is on elevators.”
“Me? Oh, I’m just waiting for a shower. It’s kinda awkward, you can’t exactly just stick your hands in your pockets. But, you know, just gotta exude confidence. Kinda lean on the bar here, put your hand on your hip, stick out your chest. Like here I am, waiting for a shower, I’m cool as can be. Like ‘whats up, I’m waiting for a shower, how’s the weather.’ It’s not so bad after a while, even though everybody is naked in the end.”
“This is the one situation where the therapist will tell you ‘Just imagine they are all dressed.’ In fact, what the heck was he thinking when he told you to just imagine that the whole crowd is naked to begin with? I sure as heck don’t feel like making any speeches right now lemme tell you that much.”
…The young man opened his eyes. It was still mostly dark. He grabbed the watch to check the time. In ten minutes it’d be six. In ten minutes he’d wake up his friends. He really wanted to catch sunrise. That would be something to see.
Ten minutes
Six o’clock
He woke up his friends and they immediately began to pack their things into their bags. The young man was the first to leave the tent. He had to fill up and prepare a bottle of water before they left. He grabbed his bottle, washed negal vaser, and went out to the stream. It was already beginning to get little light and he didn’t need to use his torch to navigate as much. The boat had left and the bay was empty and still asleep.
It was quite surreal
The young man listened to the crunch of the sand under his feet as he made his way to the river. He pulled out his camera to capture this dreamlike scene, but it was to dark for his device to handle. He looked at his little camera. He figured this was simply one of those moments that could only be saved in the storehouses of memory, and only a glimpse could be given over in the form of words. It didn’t matter he realized. Neither a picture nor a poem could ever portray the true nature of the moment. It could never give someone the emotion the young man felt standing in that white bowl. The white sand and water captured and gave off the little light that there was, making it look as if the sand itself glowed. At the same time the entire wineglass was surrounded by pure black. The contrast of shiny white against foreboding black, the emptiness, the overcast weather, it all seemed to say ‘you aren’t supposed to be here.’
He wondered if he was still asleep and dreaming
But the chilly air and breeze said otherwise. He was awake. This was no fabrication of his adventurous mind. He was actually living this moment and he thanked G-d for guiding him to this little island across the whole world.
Glup glup glup
Fresh water
He returned, set his water aside, and began taking things down and packing up. It didn’t take that long. In no time everything was back on their backs and they were ready to move. They descended to the sand and began the long annoying trek around the whole curve of the sand.
SHSHSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH
The young man was a little disappointed. It was too cloudy to see any sunrise. When they were opposite the neck he stopped to adjust his pack and fix his water into the bladder. He loved that water bladder. He was able to affix it right on the back of his pack and loop the mouth piece onto the front strap. He could sip water without any hassle the whole way through.
Squip squip squip
The sand soon became real annoying to walk on and they still had some way to go until the end. Worse, the young man looked ahead to the ridge they would have to climb over. All this and they were pressed for time. They had to daven above all and catch the bus as well. When they reached the end of the beach they didn’t know where to go next. With a little walking back and forth and sensible exploring though, the young man found the way.
A quarter of a chocolate bar
It was all the young man was running on. It was all he’d be running on as well. His eggs had finally gone bad, or at least smelt really strange, and they had no time to stop and open a can of tuna.
So up and up they went
Ugh…
UP
It wasn’t nearly as hard as climbing that mountain two days before hand. And the ridge itself wasn’t nearly as hard as it would have been had the young man not scaled that mountain. It was still a drag and their packs still weighed them down, but the three travelers glided up at a good pace.
“We’re already here?”
The top came as a surprise to the young man. He didn’t figure they’d make it so far so soon. The travelers took a slight detour to an overlook where they could gaze down with pride at the entire magnificent land they traversed, from one side to the other, over the mountain, through the forest, across the beaches, and up the very ridge which they stood.
“Yeeeeees!”
The echo was amazing. Its reverberation was a full second and bounced back crystal clear. The young man felt, in his words, pretty flipping awesome. He was so high up, the wind was blowing in his face, and the scenery was astonishing.
Time’s up
The began their descent down the other side of the ridge.
It was absolutely uneventful and not worth writing
The made it back to the car park, signed out so everyone would know they weren’t dead, and began the mind-numbing four kilometer walk back to the visitor center. This time there was no one to hitch hike with.
The most boring 4k of his whole life
He just wanted to get there already
After four days the bag was friggin’ heavy
This sucks
They arrived at the visitor center
O
M
G
What a relief
First thing the young man did was get out of his clothes. He put on fresh (in a way) everything. Button down shirt, a grey vest that made him feel very 1930’s, and fresh underwear made him feel swell. Now he could finally daven.
Teffilin
Siddur
Oo! A bird!
They dragged their stuff to the front. The van bus thing moved in to pick them up. It was the same lady as before. She got out and helped them w/ their bags as the young man told her that he really saw a whale just like she said.
Vrrrroom
She dropped them off at a crossroad to wait for the next bus. It was a super classic situation in the young man’s eyes. They were sitting at the crossroads in some distant land across the sea, waiting for a ride. It didn’t take long before it came.
Once again they were off
He pulled put his pamphlet and started learning. He looked out his window. He had gotten a good seat. The road went along the coast and he watched the waves crashing all along the rocks and beaches they passed. They wizzed passed trees and huge patches of land filled with sheep. After a while he was able to look at their very peninsula from across the sea. It was bigger than he thought. He could just make out Hazards beach with the mountain range behind it.
He was so proud.
They had done all that.
The young man was also tired. He looked at the scenery from the window, learned from his pamphlet, and yawned. Brown grass and eucalyptus trees sailed passed him. He leaned back a bit. No, he wasn’t going to sleep, he was learning, but that’s all just a nice idea. He blinked more and more slowly. As they drove down the road back to Hobart, as the radio quietly played “We Are the Champions”, as he rested his head against the chair, as the adventures and thrills of the past four days finally caught up with him,
…Once again he flipped up the flap of the beanie from over his eyes and stared at the tent ceiling. He must have slept for two, maybe three hours. There wasn’t much time left for daylight. The young man frowned to himself. He would have liked more time to explore the bay. He didn’t waste any time. There was one particular area he wanted to check out.
Those rocks in the middle of the bay
It’d be hard to get there.
He went right down to the beach and made his way to the stream. He got to the water’s edge and peered over. He smiled, took a few steps back, ran up and hopped over.
Pu Ploosh
He found himself standing on the other side while various birds observed the young man’s antics. He proceeded to the orangish rocks that marked the next step before he could reach his destination. The perfect water lapped against the edge of the stones as the young man daringly hopped from one to the next. Finally came the next step, perhaps the most difficult. The young man had to scale up a stone wall and then scramble up a very steep hill. The young man studied the wall trying to figure out where to start. He jumped onto a part that wasn’t vertical and managed to remain on the wall on the sole merit of two small crannies his hands found. He remained there for a few seconds trying to decide what to do next. He felt around with his feet and found a couple ever so slight juts that he could use to climb further until he could find a few more protrusions and get higher.
All the while the young man pondered the odds of slipping…
right into the water…
or rocks.
He made his way up the wall and found himself once again on dirt, holding onto a tree branch in order to pull himself up the hill and not slide down to a painful end. The earth was steep enough that he had to climb on all fours and use the various floras to ascend. When he finally got to the top he immediately reflected:
How the heck am I supposed to get down?
The rest was easy. The young man needed only to walk toward the water and slide down the dirt onto the cluster of rocks that protruded out in the middle of the bay. He finally made it. He stood out there, looking at the whole bay from a new vantage point. He looked around at the deep water, satisfied with his little accomplishment.
sweet
Suddenly, right before him, burst the most magnificent and unexpected thing the young man could have imagined. Never in his life had he ever seen such a thing and he never expected that he would. Not only this, but thanks to his efforts he witnessed it closer to himself than would ever have happened otherwise. The young man gasped in absolute surprise. He looked upon it wide eyed as if his mind was yet to comprehend what just occurred. Then, as if to say ‘yes, that really did just take place’, it happened a second time. The young man clasped his hands over his face to stifle the mechanical ‘oh my, wow!’ that discharged from his mouth and may have been audible throughout the whole bay. The young man had indeed, half heartily for he didn’t think for a second that he would, said that such a thing would make his whole trip.
A whale
A big whale
Jumped right out of the water
Right there
Twice
The sun was already dropping behind the mountains. The young man still had to daven Mincha plus he was eager to boast to his friends what he had seen. Now he had to actually face his previously realized predicament.
How the heck to get down
He couldn’t find the spot on the hill that lead to the part of the rock wall where climbing was actually feasible. He finally found some branches and brush that looked familiar and seemed like the right location. The hill was so steep that, using his feet to for control, he simply sat right on his butt and slid down to the edge. Climbing down the wall wasn’t difficult and he skipped a good deal by jumping right onto the rocks. He skipped and hopped his way to the sand, hopped back over the river, and in no time found himself by the tent, with the wallabies, davening Mincha.
Get some water to prepare
The sun had already set but its rays still rivaled the light of the stars that appeared. The boat was still there and the cabin light shown through a window.
Three stars
The fast is over
Maariv
Dinner
While his water was being prepared with chlorine the young man jimmied open a can of salmon and began to dine on it with Pringles.
Mmm yum
Thump de thump de thump
The two wallabies showed up. The food had clearly aroused their curiosity and they even had the audacity to try and steal it! The young man laughed as the wallabies bullied his friend the whole time, taking his chocolate with their little hands and hopping off while he chased them. The wallabies tried to take his food too but the young man wouldn’t have it. He didn’t hesitate to he pick up his water bottle.
Wack!
Take that wallaby. Needless to say they bothered the young man a little less than his friend. Of course, they still tried.
Wack!
Wack!
He went back out to check out the bay. It was already completely dark as he descended onto the sand. There were two beacons of light that reflected off the black water of the bay. One was the yellow glow emanating from the boat and the other was the white shimmer of a brilliant star. The young man could see the mountains from the way the numerous stars disappeared behind them.
spooky
It was time for the young man to sleep. They would have to hurry over the ridge and back to society in time to catch the bus back. The young man also hoped to see sunrise from the bay. He learned for a bit and then switched off his torch to sleep, ready to get up early, pack up, and skedaddle over that stupid ridge…
Continued from
Day 2; down =========================
…The young man lifted the black beanie from over his eyes and looked at the illuminated ceiling of the tent. He unzipped the door and peered outside. G-d had answered his little prayer after all. It didn’t rain a drop. The sky was as sunny as could be, peppered with only the most harmless and friendly clouds.
The perfect fast day weather
He washed negal vaser and grabbed his siddur to start korbonos. Lacking a good place to sit he went next door to the beach where he’d have a comfortable place to sit and daven. As he emerged from the wooded campsite to the open beach he was finally able to see the whole bay for the first time.
It was more beautiful than he had ever seen
The bay was perfect in every way. Turquoise water continuously washed up onto the pure white sand as little birds would run through, leaving brief itty bitty tracks in their wake. The bay was wide and perfectly round, with a narrow neck on one end that opened up to the sea, thus earning it the name, ‘WineglassBay’. One side of the neck was a large hill while a sharp and formidable mountain guarded the opposite bank. The sand wrapped around the bay for perhaps a kilometer, the far end leading into shrouded forest. In between though, the sand reached up until a hill, of which the other side remained a mystery to the young man.
Strong gusts of eastern wind blew in from the neck and into the young man’s face as he sat reciting korbonos in this majestic setting. The bay made him imagine pirate ships sailing in to hide their newly robbed treasure amidst the trees of the dark forest. They’d anchor their ship right in the middle of the bay and come to shore on rowboats. Then, led by their bad-tempered and tough captain, the pirates would drag a large black treasure chest across the smooth white sand. They’d heave and ho it up the hill next to him while their captain mercilessly degrades the men and demand they move faster. They’d move it right by their tent and stop at the pond where they would start digging. Finally, having buried their treasure for later use, they’d jump back in their rowboats and return to ship. Then, just as quick as it came, the ship would catch the morning wind out of the bay to the open sea, where they would sail around Tasmania and beyond, plundering and terrorizing all in their path.
The young man shook his head.
He should really be concentrating on the Hebrew words.
He finished korbonos and returned to the tent area. The beach was too windy and there was no place he’d be able to put his Teffilin. Besides, he also wanted to learn a bit before he started his morning prayers. He put down his siddur and sat down, using a log to lean on, and read from a pamphlet he had brought along.
Thump thump thump
thumpthump
What the heck was that?
The young man turned around. What met his eyes was something he completely didn’t expect. Wallabies! Two of them and hopped in to say good morning to the three travelers. They didn’t seem to have any fear of them. They wallaby’s eyes met the young man’s with a look of curiosity and then it continued to hop around the tent area.
Well how about that!
The young man finished reading and found a tree near a brook where he could place his Teffilin bag and daven. He wrapped the black leather straps around his arm amidst the shade of the trees. All the while a wallaby thumped and thumped around him as if it enjoyed the young man’s company. He found a comfortable log and began Hodu.
Thump de thump de thump de thump
Funny wallaby
It sure loved thumpin’ around and watching him daven
The young man finished and went back to the bay to explore. He decided to walk the length of the sand to the other side. The sand was firm and easy to walk on. He walked by the edge of the water observing the peculiar habit of the waves. First the waves would crash only on the south eastern corner of the ‘wineglass’. Then, like either a ripple effect or a shockwave, the water would continue crashing in a fast and smooth sequence all through the whole curve of the bay until the end over a kilometer away. The young man enjoyed hearing the sound of the crash approaching from behind and then rushing ahead of him until he could hear it end way off in the distance.
SHSHSSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSHSH
When the young man reached the western side of the curve, opposite the neck, the sand became softer and annoying to walk on. He decided not to go on to the end. He looked ahead between the hill and the mountain which guarded the open sea. He saw the ocean out beyond and a small but mountainous island in the distance.
Hmm,
What’s over here?
The sand led to a hill for the entire curve until the end. The young man decided to climb up it to see what was on the other side. It was steep and there was a good amount of brush [snakes!(?)], but he found his away around and found himself gazing from the top.
Wow, look what I found
A huge, green, golf course like patch of land stretched out before him. He looked beyond to the very
mountain he had scaled the day before. The young man felt a good sense of satisfaction when he apprehended the distance they had traversed in merely one day. It was one of the hardest things ever, but they did it. The young man smiled. From now and forever, the challenges in his life would be that much easier.
Slide. Slide. Plop.
The young man was back on the sand and began walking back to their side of the bay. He could see one of his contemporaries, though they were but a tiny dark figure amidst the white sand. The young man casually made his way to his end of the bay escorted by the island birds that left little footprints for him to follow. The young man reached the clear stream at the end and decided to investigate where it led to. He followed the stream through the forest area behind the hill that concealed him from the beach. He strolled along the river bank enjoying the sight of the peaceful water and the shade of the trees and brush.
Brrrrrrr
Brr – clang, splash,
Rickety rickety rickety rickety
What on earth? There wasn’t a soul around. What could be making such noises? The young man made his way downstream and back around the hill onto the sand. Well now! How random is that? A fisher boat! The lone fisher boat and its single crewmember had snuck into the bay whilst the young man was exploring and anchored itself right in the middle. What are the chances? The young man wondered what else he’d find before the end of the day. He remembered, when they first arrived, the lady telling him that they might see a whale if they were real lucky. “Oh man,” he thought to himself,
“If only. That would make my whole trip.”
The exploring, coupled with the fasting, began to take effect on the young man. He yawned sleepily. He might as well sleep for an hour or two he postulated. He could look around later. He left the boat and the bay and returned to the tent in the woods up the hill. The wallabies were still hopping around and it looked like his friends had the same idea as he did. He entered the tent, lay on his back, pulled his black beanie over his eyes, folded his arms and legs, and slowly drifted off to the WineglassBay of dreams. The one that really did have pirates and treasure and wild seafaring adventures. He entered this fantasy bay, hoping to return shortly to carry on discovering the mysteries and wonders of WineglassBay…
