"60 Seconds [or more] with Dovid Staples"

Because we’re so awesome I and my friend Adam were featured in a small publication here known as the MS Weekly. Titled “60 seconds w/ Dovid Staples” I believe it takes longer than 60 seconds to read my profile. This is what went to print;

• My earliest memory is… when I was two I went to my grandparents’ house and they got me a pedal wiener-mobile (!). then I went to play w/ water balloons. I threw one at my uncle, but he was in the army so it bounced off his muscles and hit me in the face.
• I don’t like talking about… my distant past
• I wish I had… faults like normal people
• I wish I hadn’t… left my hat on top of the Finck’s car before we drove to his house for Chanuka
• I’m very bad at… I’m yet to discover what this could be
• Friends say I am… He said WHAT?!
• My happiest moment was… Becoming muggier
• The hardest thing I’ve ever done is… Working with year two
• My favorite food is… Mrs. Sandhaus’s cheesecake
• If I wasn’t me I’d like to be… Moshe Rabeinu – might as well shoot for the top, and NOT hit that rock.
• If I were a gadget I’d be… The (J-UCAS) X-45C (an unmanned plane [for the uneducated]. – ed)
• I often wonder… What’s for dinner…or lunch, or of it’s easier to raise an army of cyborgs or clones.
• My 2^nd most admired person is… My mashpia R Majesky, Dr. Rev. Martin Luther King Jr., and Mendy Kesselman all tie for that one.
• I always say… “oh rats” “oh no” “oh goodness” “oh golly gee willickers” “nifty” “cool beans” “maybe you should just stop talking” (maybe you should -ed)
• My last $5 was spent on… Tzedoka. Oh wait, that was my last complete $5. Technically , I recently did laundry, which cost $4, so my last $5 is 1/5 tzedoka, and 4/5 laundry.
• If I had a million dollars… I’d start a company as well as a coup to take over Cuba (and give a lot more than $5 to tzedoka).
• My favorite color is… certain tints of green.
• I get my thrills by… Deciphering Gemara, cool vocab words, cool math, quantum physics, and jumping out of airplanes.
• As the first person on earth I’d… look for the second… and maybe go around screaming Snapple facts until then.
• My wardrobe in one word would be… supercalafragalisticexpialadotious
• In ten years I see myself… as 28…oh and I have smicha, a PhD in something, and I am CEO of a high-tech company with all of Cuba as my experimental playground – yes, I also rule Cuba.
• My aspirations are… all that is noted above (including taking over Cuba), plus traveling the entire world and working for a short time in an intense exciting position, but above all, to bring Moshiach duh.
• I’m always being called… by my name.
• My comment to the MS Weekly is… check ut Yeshivabound.com! (I did, it’s pretty cool –ed)