The Great Pilgrimage/ Crown Heights Quirks

The young American man of our story has finally joined the great pilgrimage to the world hotspot, the Vegas of Chabad, the Mecca of Lubavitch: Crown Heights.

Would take more pictures

but don't wanna look like a tourist

It’s like being 17 again

All the memories of teenage years are here

Everything looks just the same as it was

Every unfinished project and renovation…

…Is still unfinished

That pink spot is still there…

…That makes five years of that pink spot

All the stores are the same

Except for some small changes

…And they’re more expensive

All the cookies are still in the exact position as last year

They still have not fixed that bench

A succa made of cardboard

If it rains they are so screwed

Everything smells the same…

…except Eastern Parkway still smells like chickens.

How?

The best part

Ice cream!

Cuz it’s hot

Coffee mocha

Vanilla chocolate chip

Cookies and cream

All on one cone

Mmmmm!

*#^$!

And now all over that nice jacket.

A Perfect Solution with Only ONE Problem

Aaaaaaannd

there they all sat for one of their regular meetings. A medical billing company, discussing how the insurance companies habitually cover the operation, but deny coverage for anesthesia, or visa versa.

One of those present came up with a brilliant idea.

He suggested a way to get the insurance companies to cover both the anesthesia and the operation.

“And?”

“... We have the patients come in for their anesthesia on a different day than their operation.”

“…. That’s not an option.”

A Weekly Detail: Good to be Home

Bad Beeping Noise is Bad

Bing! Bing! Bing! Bing!

….

That’s a bad beeping noise isn’t it.

…

You taking any sort of medication?

…

No.

…

We’re going to have to search your stuff

And boy do they mean search.

Everything

Pockets,

bags,

pat you down,

dust everything off,

feel and check everything in every bag.

Stupid whatever the heck got on that bag

Security not like bad beeping noise

Well sir that’s it

You want us to put the stuff back?

…

[Everything is on the table]

…

No I’ll get it

End Year One of Chapter Five

A whole year in Australia

A whole year of adventures

And misadventures

A whole year of new-found talents,

Of singing songs

And writing plays

Epic walks

And taking care of kids

A whole year of growth

Of lessons

Of new friends and families

A whole year of funny stories

Crashing golf-carts

Going to prison

Pointless antics

And awkward moments

And another year to do it all again

Guide to Make the Flight Go By

Flight time

19 hours

Whisky and coke

Free

Reasonable amount to request from one attendant

Two

Approximant number of attendants

Five

Five times two

Ten

[No I didn’t actually do this you judgmental fool]

An Ode to the YG Shluchim

We’d all like to wish the YG shluchim a dandy farewell

…..and he somersaulted right out the airport door. It didn’t seem so odd at the time. They had already been dancing right in the middle of the airport for the past 15 minutes. Quite an interesting show, especially with all the Asians oogling at them and taking a million pictures and videos. Now the entire yeshiva was outside waiting for the bus, wherever the bus was supposed to pick them up. They migrated across the street. Automatically, for absolutely no good reason, they walked from bus station 1, where they were waiting, all the way to bus station 5 to wait. A completely pointless operation. The chicken effect, as the young man knows it, where one chicken randomly goes into a corner, and all the rest follow…until they all smoosh into the corner and the first chicken dies.

They had come to the airport to send the second year shluchim off. It was a little sad. The young man had spent an entire year with these fellows and he owed a heck of a lot to them. The YG shluchim were always there to help, they always knew the answers, and they were constantly making new programs and such for the bochurim. And they did all that not because they’re going to get anything, but simply because that’s what they came to do.

When the young man first came to this far-off country he could barely open a Gemara. Now, he’s on the verge of breaking that elusive barrier to the highest shiur. And it’s the YG shluchim that are responsible for all that.

The yeshiva here is built on these fellows.

They make the YG environment.

They make the bochurim.

They make us.

A Weekly Detail: A Rare Rush-Hour Moment

Southern Cross Station
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