The Hopeless Play...Is Over

“This play is a disaster”

I said that around a billion times

When I’m stressed I say some sticky quotes

“What’s in my head will get on that stage

Even if I have to smear my brains all over it

”

“I actually have good news.

The play has gone from impossible

To highly improbable

”

“Murphy’s law is written all over this.

I will friggin kick Murphy in the face

”

“I was just now feeling completely lost

But I just had a bunch of wine

So I’m pretty confident now

”

“I really really really need some kids to act

My [ahem] is not big enough to pull a whole show out of it.

”

“You gotta be pretty dumb to back out of acting

Simply because you were informed

That yes

People will be watching the play

”

“Yes. I realize there’s a lot of dieing

But that just means we all have shorter parts

”

“This thing doesn’t have a chance.

That’s good

At least it’ll be better-than-expected no matter what.

”

“They titled our play:

‘International Comedy Skit’

How did they do that…

We have 24 hours to make it funny

”

“Lasers aren’t violent

They don’t even make you bleed”

It’s over. I was thinking of tossing it Thursday, but didn’t. As a result I’m embarrassed, disappointed, and frustrated. I was told, ‘nonsense! People said they loved it!’ Well you really think anyone’s going to come up and say, ‘you know that was crappy.’ I don’t know. The idea was genius. I told the story of Bustinai, except all the Jews had lightsabers, the Persians were Imperial stormtroopers, I had a Star Wars soundtrack, I had a Boba Fett type character, and everyone had blaster rifles and laser pistols. I made Princess Dara Norwegian, and had a choreographed lightsaber fight as well. The play was an hour and ten minutes long and there was a large crowd that stayed the whole time. I guess that says something, but I’m not satisfied. I’m frustrated.

· Frustrated that there was only two weeks to come up w/ something and do it.

· Frustrated that I didn’t do something smaller

· Frustrated that I had no actors, I couldn’t get them myself and it seemed like no one would

· Frustrated that the kids wouldn’t show up for practice

· Frustrated that the kids didn’t read the script

· Frustrated that w/ just 3 full rehearsals it could have run smoothly enough to last 30-45

minutes and we would hardly have to close the curtains. We didn’t have one

· Frustrated that I made it so complicated

· Frustrated that I had no idea what to expect at the carnival

· Frustrated that the day of the play one of the main extras decided he didn’t want to be in it

· Frustrated that I was told we’d have clip on mics. Instead we had 2 handhelds

· Frustrated that I had no narrator

· Frustrated that I was told it was pushed till much later, then told I was on in 15 minutes

and I didn’t have time to dress the stormtroopers correctly

· Frustrated that someone told me to take off the laser guns, so I did, and it resulted in a solid 20 seconds of nothing during the final lightsaber fight scene

· Frustrated that scene changes took forever because no one rehearsed

· Frustrated that I didn’t just put the final fight right after they escaped from prison and then end w/ the credits in a wonderful fashion

· Frustrated that the sound system made the lasers sound like ominous rumbles

· Frustrated that I can’t hide behind anonymity because every one now knows that Dovid Staples was responsible for the play

But I’m also greatly relieved

· Relieved that the play even happened. The whole thing was a miracle

· Relieved that it was a heck of a lot better than I thought. I expected a true disaster

· Relieved that the first half was great

· Relieved that people did find it funny. They laughed, even if at times it was at our mistakes

· Relieved that I had two bochurim who worked really hard sewing costumes and building props the way I wanted and formatted the script so it was super easy to follow

· Relieved that a friend of mine found all the sounds, programs, music and a soundboard for all the audio I needed

· Relieved that one of the shluchim went through the script w/ me the night before and agreed to manage the stage so I could narrate

· Relieved that I had 2 bochurim working on nothing but an entertaining sword fight

· Relieved that my Norwegian Princess Dara was flippin’ awesome

I hated it. I’m sure some people liked it, but I label it as failed because of what it could have been. The second half was way to long and dragged out. I know my lessons for next time. I’m itching for a chance at redemption.

Hell, we all fail occasionally

But if we don’t at least risk failin’

We aint ever gonna succeed either

A ‘making of’ slideshow and vid to come