Antics

All the bochurim know

I’m rather unconventional with my time learning

Perhaps I get through the subject matter too fast

I don’ think it would matter anyway

I discovered a phenomenon in zal. You can say whatever you want, as a loud as you want, and no one will even turn their head. I made this discovery while learning in Gemara about a cow that was;

Poopin’ on fruit!!

Nothing. Not that I was trying to get any attention, I didn’t even realize how loud I had said that term, but I found it funny that no one noticed I had shouted something so ridiculous. So it tied it again but even louder;

A cow

That was

Poopin’ on fruit!!!!

Nada. Amazing. There was no end to the potential here. I was curious now. How far could this go? It’s not a big zal, yet no one is noticing? I gathered three of my mates. Let’s pick a ridiculous term, and take turns saying that term, each one has to say it louder than the last one, and if you chicken out you lose. I won.

I found out this isn’t foolproof. The phenomenon has a flip side. That is, when you don’t want people to hear you, that’s when they do. For about 15 seconds, Alice in Wonderland was brought up. 15 seconds. All I wanted to know was “wait wait wait. I don’t understand, was the caterpillar smoking pipes or smoking hookah?” lo-and-behold, right behind me is R. Cohen, just looking at me in subtle bewilderment. He simply gave a soft shake of his head and went to his office.

I was speaking to my chavrusa. I was speaking about the silliness of bar-side pickup lines. Now it was a completely normal conversation, but of course, right in the middle of speaking, right when I looked at him and said, “You are the most beautiful woman in this room,” that was precisely the moment someone walked by, abruptly stopped, and kept walking.