G-d 'n' Me: The Occasional High-Five

I’m an avid optimist. Not because I think things are hunky-dory. Believe me, I think everything’s a tragic wreck; losing the home, my family declaring bankruptcy, the rest of my family declaring bankruptcy, pay cuts to Mesa Police (my father’s a cop for those who don’t know), losing positions because of Shobbos, sickness etc, but I know it’s all G-d. I get to blame him for everything.

G-d ‘n’ me. I don’t have a relationship w/ anyone or anything else the way I have w/ him. I believe our relationship is comical. I believe G-d put me here to mess with me. He created a humongous game of the Sims and then put me in it to watch, make fun of, and show off to me.

He made me perceptive so he could talk to me in his subtle ways and show off his creativity. He loves doing that. Making itty bitty random things happen and watch me connect the dots, put together the puzzle pieces, and then get all giddy about what he did. He’s good at telling me things and I’ve gotten really good at listening. Little signs. It’s what I look out for. I just look up and ask him what I should do and wait for that little sign. It’s always something creative.

I talk to him all the time. I just walk around the street chatting w/ G-d. I tell him what I’m thinking, about my day, or my plans even though he already knows. Or if something bad happens, I just look up, raise my eyebrow, and say, “Come on G-d, you aren’t really gonna do that…” I complain most of the time. I’m always nagging G-d and complaining how terrible things are, but I don’t get mad because I know that in some infinite way G-d has humor. And he uses it on me all the time.

I’m always aware he’s watching. Just sometimes I forget. Then G-d looks down and has to give me a little reminder of whose boss of this galactic playground. Then I’ll understand and say I’m sorry, but then complain that it wasn’t fair and he did too much and he has to make up for it. And I nag him and nag him and he sighs and tosses me a metaphorical lolly to make me shut up. Then he decides that since he did something nice for me, he can have a little fun and toss me into an awkward or some other annoying situation and watch me figure it out and wiggle through it. G-d thinks he’s so funny sometimes.

G-d loves how big I am for hashgacha pratis. He hates doing all those little things and no one noticing their significance. I know he smiles when I backtrack and see the whole picture, connect random events, and see the depth of what once was happenstance; people I’ve met in the most random of ways, things and opportunities I’ve come across, misfortunes and bad luck that now mean something else, it’s all adding up to something. He’s got some sort of plan for me I can see it. I’m just too young to see what all these pieces are going to mean, and G-d is having a great time keeping me in suspense until he can chuckle when I finally get it and become all thrilled over his genius. In the meantime I just watch for those signs, the way he talks to me, and happenstance events, the way he pushes me around his big Sims game. And every time I get it, I push my palm at the sky to high five G-d.