The Retarded Escape

Went to a bar-mitzva thing Monday night

What’s with all the kids knowing me?

“Staples! Finck!”

It was fun

Good pizza

Great cheesecake

Time to go. Seder

Door says push

[push]

Nope

What the heck

We’re running late as it is

[PUUUSH]

Door goes ‘rbrbr’

Nothing

Pull?

[Pull push pull push]

“brbrbbandabrbr”

“Damn it! How the hell’s this work!?”

[push push pull]

[twist lock, push, twist lock, push, kick]

“We’re stuck!”

A spotlight comes down from the heavens

G-d opens our eyes

Right before us in big white letters

“PUSH WHITE BUTTON TO OPEN DOOR”

&#%$!

Bzz

[push]

“brbrb”

!!!

You gotta hold it

Ohhhh

*#&% *#^$

The button is too far

&$%#

He pushes button

I push door

Bzzzzzzz

[push]

“brebbrdr”

Uggggghh *&$#^

I locked the door trying to get out

Twist

Bzzzzz

Push

Open!

late